I grew up with a neighborhood full of boys, no brothers. For a long while I was the only girl in the neighborhood.
Boys are so different from girls
So when I had boys I thought I would just love them and they would not be like those really ridiculous neighborhood boys that you could triple dog dare into riding their bikes off the train bridge into the river, or eat a cat food sandwich or who you could dare to balance crow bars off there forehead and both ended up in the emergency room for stitches.
Or those rotten boys that would wait for you in the trees when it was dark and scare the living be-jesus out of you while you were walking home.
Or take your training bra off the cloths line and bring it on the bus…
Do I sound bitter?
Not my boys, my boys were not going to be like that at all.
The naivety of a first time mother, I really want those days back. Truley.
We started school vacation with a bang!
My father in-laws bought my youngest son a gas powered scooter. Now I’m thinking this will go a cool 5 miles an hour as long as he wears his helmet what can be the harm? He couldn’t get hurt doing 5 miles an hour?
So let me just say that there is very little difference between men and boys as far as for thought and what might happen? Men cannot think that far ahead. It has a motor, it will be fun.
I thought the scooter was safe.
So when my neighbor Sweetie called me and told me to come quick Cameron has fallen off the scooter and hes cut up really bad, I couldn’t imagine what he had done?
He has a nice cut up his back that’s going to leave a scare and he has hurt his ribs…I’m thinking how could this have happened? Was he messing around? Not paying attention?
Well then I got on it to bring it home.
Disclaimer: Someone could have made a lot of money on AFV and I was swearing like a pirate.
This scooter goes about 35 mph wide open, I nearly (I’m going to say it) crapped my pants when I gave it some gas……Wheeled….Landed….Went from one side of the road to the other…..Screaming….Wobbling, trying to keep myself up right. It has a handlebar throttle so the more I tried to slow down the more my body would be forced forward the faster I would go.
I was hitting bumps, going off into the ditches, at this point I’m just hanging on and had a plan that when I get to my lawn I’m just going to jump off and land where I may.
I let go of the throttle…..I kept going….The throttle was stuck, well wasn’t that just swell! I am so mad at this point, because I don’t deal well with upset at all…I’m just mad!
I finally pull the throttle all the way back and come to screeching halt, I jump off and have to run 7-8 steps before I can catch myself, and land face down in the dirt.
I am cursing my father in-law 5 ways to Sunday for buying the machine from hell, I stomp back over to the scooter pick it up and realized half the neighborhood is heading up the hill some running, some…..Well it looks like they’re laughing. Really? Laughing?
Sweetie is first to reach me and exclaim “That is the funniest thing I have ever seen!”
“Well I’m glad I could entertain you Sweetie” I said “And your never getting fried broccoli from me again!”
And all the boys were saying. “Can I try out the scooter? Will you show me how to wheelie like you did?” Uhm….No I will not!
My son was bringing up the rear, holding his side, laughing and wincing all at the same time….”Hey mom the throttle is sticking, can you fix that?”
NO, I cannot fix that, and thanks for telling me son!
“Mom, you are awesome! How did you stay on, when you hit the ditch? Can you show me how to do that?”
I threw up my hands, picked up the scooter and walked to the barn thinking…
My boys are those same boys (SIGH) someone is going to triple dog dare them and they are going to do it. They are going to eat a cat food sandwich for a $1.00 and show their scars as badges of honor…
Boys are different from girls.
I went in poured myself a glass of wine, trying to get my wits about me and salvage what was left of my pride. I listened to all the neighborhood boys laugh at my antics and Sweetie defending me, Sweetie the only girl in the group. Sweetie, who will be triple dog daring every one of those boys to eat a cat food sandwich:)
Because girls are different from boys:)
Real housewives of Maine 
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